Love vs. Career

In a snowstorm, my mother wanted me to drive her to the mall, approximately 20 minutes away, which is “far” in my midsize university town. I asked her, “Why? What do you need there?” She said not the question her. My life of servitude.

As we are walking into Macy’s, she finally confides in my sister and I that she’s here to meet a tall man about purchasing a ring through Craigslist. I should’ve known. Apparently, my mom chose to meet at Macy’s jewellery counter to ask the jeweler to verify that the diamonds in the ring were real. It’s clever and cautious to do, but there’s an air of manipulation in the fact that my mom wants to verify a Craigslist ring at a Macy’s.

It turns out the ring has a story to it. The somewhat nerdy, sloth-resembling man had asked his girlfriend of 5 years to marry him with this engagement ring. He went to a jeweler who was going out of business and bought this ring for around $5k. When asked, she said no, giving the hogwash excuse that she wants to focus on her career. She must’ve known that the ring turned out to be a fake. 

The Macy’s jeweler, as well as subsequent jewellers after, tested the diamonds in the ring and told the man and my mother that they weren’t diamonds. He had travelled an hour away to sell a ring he thought was real, so he said. The next day, my mom had a package in the mail. It was a gem detector. And I left happy with this Coach keychain purse (it was $36, originally $75!).

It was on sale!
It was on sale!

But it raises the question, is career a good excuse to avoid marriage? Given, both my parents worked without leave and raised 5 children, but is that just because they’re some outlier anomaly? Or is it because it follows the common thought that hardworking Americans ‘live to work,’ not ‘work to live?

I always thought I’d be a career-driven powerhouse, that I couldn’t lie still. That I’ll fly anywhere, present marvellous things and make loads of money. But I myself had made excuses that repelled the thought of starting my career. How could I still call myself an ambitious individual when I’ve graduated college nearly 2 years ago, jobless and riding my parents’ skirts?

My excuses are simply complicated. I love my crazy Catholic family, but I know the minute I leave their white-tight grips, I’ll be disowned. For one, the lot of them have abandonment issues– leaving the Mafia is easier than leaving this family unscathed. And for two, I’d wanna be with Perseus.

Perseus– the love of my life, despite the many quarrels and dagger-like shade looks we throw at each other. Being with him will definitely erase me from my family’s history books. But Perseus himself is a factor against my career development.

I promised I’ll go back to the UK for him, but I didn’t want to go blindly and have been looking for work in London that would support a work visa as well. But careers in Health Promotion and Communication aren’t particularly outsourcing jobs in the slumping British economy. I love London, and cities in general, which works well with my desire to build a career and be in the action at all times. Contrarily, Perseus loves the quiet life– the country life away from the hustle and bustle of people… The sort of scenes from horror flicks. Opposites attract. 

And so I hold off on my powerhouse career partially for love and partially for comfort, I suppose. But I’m starting to get the itch. I want the city, want to work my mind, want to accomplish something, many things and lead. I guess that’s why I started this blog… A step towards a career… a start of an eventual accomplishment.

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