How Do You Live With Dorothy? I Try Not To.

Dorothy’s Life

My sister Dorothy grew up being the oldest child of the family, having 5 younger siblings that stretch out to 8 years her junior (concluding with me). She had taken full advantage of her being looked up to, having us play a game she called ‘Food Critic,’ where she had us play ‘chefs’ and make her food and she plays ‘critic’ and eats the food. Once when my parents went to California for a week, she manipulated us to use all the eating money on the second day for an expensive lunch, resulting in the rest of the week playing ‘Food Critic.’ And when I had spring break and she was in college, she used the money that my parents gave her to use to take me to places and have fun, on art supplies at Hobby Lobby for a phase when she wanted to be an ‘artist.’

Living with a Dorothy isn't as fun as it looks on TV.
Living with a Dorothy isn’t as fun as it looks on TV.

When she was born, she had it easy. She was the second grandchild of my maternal grandparents, but was the first-born in America and was adorn as such. She was always ‘big boned’ and didn’t make that many friends through elementary, junior high or even senior high school. She grew up quiet, nice and helpful in the public eye; however, at home, she was lazy, rude and the most troublesome child. 

Having the same temperament as my father, she would say the worst things at the most ridiculous times and became a world-class bitch. Perhaps as iconic as it sounds, her having my father’s personality means that her and my father butt heads a lot through her childhood, which results with her running to my mother for things, even now at age 33.

But mother has always favoured her eldest daughter, as mothers should favour all their children. But Dorothy really made it hard on her. Here’s a timeline of her life, as I remember it (could be somewhat off):

  • 1997-1999: She took half-days during her junior year to study to be a beautician. She worked half-days her senior year at a locally owned hair salon.
  • 1999-2003: She moves out of the house. After nights of calling her married military boyfriend based in Korea that resulted in a $2000+ bill to my parents, being constantly drunk, still being a bitch to siblings and parents, and flunking out of college, she moves back into the house.
  • 2003:  She went on an European class trip with the high school and met a military man in Germany. She decides to hide her wanting to stay with him by telling my parents she wants to make a living as a tour guide, staying over in Europe.
  • 2004-2005: She tells my mom she’s engaged with a man nobody’s ever met. My father allows it, saying, “It’s Dorothy. Let’s just be glad someone’ll take her.” They’re (extravagantly) married in 2005, though reluctantly since she didn’t want to come home to do it.
  • 2007-2010: She moves on base with her husband in Korea, then Texas, then moved back to her hometown after having my first nephew.
  • 2010-current: Her her husband have been working for my parents because their unqualified for any other job and my parents care too much for the wellbeing of their 2 grandsons.

Not too terrible, but also add the fact that she left the Catholic Church from years 1999 to 2010 and it really tore my mother apart. My mother always fought for my sister against my father, and she never really cares for that, but rather takes advantage of the fact that my mother cares so much. It’s a belief between the siblings that she only plays religious now for my mother to manipulate her for money.

Which can very well be true. My parents paid for the entire deposit for their 3000 square foot home, gave them jobs and pay for anything they couldn’t afford. This includes my 6-year-old nephew’s birthday party last January for $1000, a trip to Aruba, 2 trips to Cancun, a vacation to Disney World and anything for a private school education. My parents and my sister Rose babysits my two nephews whilst her and her husband go to work their ‘jobs,’ freeing them from paying for childcare. Whenever she wants to take off, she closes the office and goes, which includes shopping (grocery, clothes, Craigslist, or other), hair appointments, doctor’s appointments, National Guard duty and attending leisure events.

Despite all of this, she still treats all siblings and my father with disrespect. When her and her husband picks up her children from my parents’ house, they eat dinner here and then yell at her kids to get ready to leave. My nephews don’t respect their mother, which results in her yelling loudly, which results in the whole household standing still until they leave. The whole family feels bad for the nephews, having Dorothy as their mother (Not so much for her husband, who married into it).

My mother still fights for her. One winter, she wanted the family to celebrate Christmas at her house. Besides my father who was in Vietnam at the time, everyone but my mother didn’t want to go to their home, but rather my parents’ home for Christmas. I’m the only one that had balls to tell my mother nobody wanted to go over to her’s, which resulted in my mother throwing me out for a few hours.

For more recent items of my sister’s deceit, my mother and two sisters went over to Dorothy’s house for a  ‘cookie exchange.’ When over there, one of her friends asked what my mother did for a living. My mother  said she owns real estate. The friend said, “Oh, you own real estate like Dorothy? That’s nice!” In reality, my sister owns nothing — she’s telling her friends the 200+ unit real estate my parents own is her’s.

As for her attitude, my mother and brother have gone to Vietnam for a couple of weeks. She had just called in, saying she’s making reservations for a hotel’s restaurant for 1:15PM for Easter so we could go to 11:00AM mass. My father agreed, despite him wanting to go to an Asian buffet so that he knows what to eat. After calling, my sister said that 1:15PM was full, so she made reservations for 11:00PM and that we’d need to go to 9:00AM mass instead, with a menu of the restaurant. The menu seemed limited and ordinary, if not sub par with the price tag of $20/adult, $10/child. Resulting in $160+ for the entire family, I thought maybe my father can make Prime Rib for cheaper and we’d still go to the later mass. My sister Rose called her, asking if she’s sure about her plans, only to be yelled at by Dorothy, saying in her best bitch-voice, “Why? Do you not want to go? Who doesn’t want to go? Why are you being complicated?” and before hanging up, saying (to her husband), “Rose is so stupid!

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She’s has reached a new level of laziness since living at home. When she comes over for dinner every day after work, she sits at the table and tells her husband to get her dishes, silverware, the food, water and to put her dish in the sink. She’s recently told a story about how my 6-year-old nephew Tom was playing on his iPad on the couch with my sister watching TV when she asked him to get her orange juice. She kept bugging him, when he finally replied, “Mommy! Why do I always have to get you stuff?! What did you want?” He’s once yelled back at her at my parents’ house, saying, “Mommy, why do you treat us like your royal servants?”

With her lack of movement due to laziness, she’s increasingly becoming thicker. Changes in appearances isn’t new to her, since she’s had several shades of red, orange, blond, purple, brown and black in her hair. She’s been off and on many diets and joined countless gyms until now, she has decided to have liposuction done with the financial assistance of my parents. My parents don’t feel too terrible about it, though, because they’ve noticed she’s looked bigger recently, leading to my mother asking if she’s pregnant again.

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 Thoughts

This is the first of my series on my family, which gives both me and you a break between gay and social news. Each of my family members, as I have mentioned in my Introduction Post, are all so different in personality, in the talents we have, and in what we like. I will elaborate on my personal relationship with each family member.

I grew up respecting my oldest sister. If you can’t look up to your older siblings, who can you look up to? My baby nephew Jerry looks up to his brother Tom. But when I grew up to know any better, I saw she wasn’t one to hold as a role model.

I would never say I don’t love anyone in my family, but I really am the practical sort. If my sister was one of my friends, I would’ve left her with my memories in high school — a school friend I had once admired, but glad that I don’t feel obligated to see her every day anymore. But she’s family, and she C-sectioned my nephews. And I love my nephews.

A little harsh, Gretch.
A little harsh, Gretch.

My sister and I were close when I was younger, when I followed her around and thought her word was law. Now, my sister and I’s relationship is sour, with mostly bitter retort between us. We sometimes have the normal conversation about things and events — more gossip than anything. We can play nice for a stretch of time, such as an hour car ride to and from a doctor’s appointment, but my other siblings joke around that they’re surprised we didn’t kill each other even for that.

What really bothers me most, besides her bitchiness, is how she treats her ‘religion.’ She’d read up on religion and play on my mother’s emotion, siding with the Catholic Church whenever she can. She always informs my mother about how the Catholic Church hates homosexuals, that she thinks it’s so wrong and how she’d really hate if they were gay. But like everyone else in my family, they don’t mind laughing at gay humour on TV, movies and YouTube videos.

I know it’s a little harsh, but she’s really my least favourite sibling. Other family members have attributes closer to mine, less bitchy, less manipulative and generally more likeable in the family. Publicly, Dorothy is likeable to other mothers, her friends and even our friends, who she ‘Friends” on Facebook despite her being awkwardly older than them.

But despite it all, she’s family. And with my family, it’s all or none.

I’m dreading the day I’ll have to choose none.

My Family's Belief.
My Family’s Belief.
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