The Hard Truth: The Importance of Being Penis (NSFW)

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How do you describe your penis?

Is it long, short or average? Thick, thin or veiny? Curved to the left, right or up? Cut, uncut or weirdly cut? Is your knob pointed, blunt or pear-shaped? Is it tan, purplish or uni-colored all over?

And don’t even get me started with the balls.

Whether gay or straight, all boys are curious about their undercarriages. And, if they admit it or not, all boys are curious about other guys’ packages as well. I’m not saying all straights are a little homo, but they may want to know how they measure up or what another nationality’s penis looks like.

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Straight boys could have wondering eyes in the locker room to see another guy’s package, or de-pants him as a prank, or maybe just accidentally walk in on them doing God-knows-what. Or they could just Google “Average Sized Penis” or just watch straight porn and see oversized dicks pillaging a vagina. However it is that straighties get their statistics, they are highly interested in penises overall.

Gay boys are different. Yes, we do all the above as well to be ‘one of the bros,’ MAYBE, but we do more. We straight out ask for statistics of the penis– cut/uncut, length, girth, last ejaculation, and anything else you could ask about one’s penis. We don’t always just stop with seeing and knowing about it, but we may want the other 4 senses to be as familiar with it. We’re obsessed with our own and other’s. I, myself, am guilty of such and I admit it.

But lately, I’ve been a bit more chilled about it.

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Penis has been a talk of conversation between Perseus and I. And, to be honest, it’s been chipping away at our relationship. It’s because we talk about our exes’ packages and about guys we see in porn, which starts arguments.

As arguments continue, it’s coincidence that GQ published “What She Said: Is Your Dick Long Enough?” It pretty much says not to care how your dick measures up to any other’s; however, the average length is 5.16inches.


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My One-Eyed Monster (The High School Years)

As I’ve said, gay men talk about penis. A lot. Yes, it’s stereotyping but it’s a mostly true stereotype (I’ll wait for that one gay man who says “I’m not!”). Whenever I’ve had a one-on-one conversation with a gay guy, usually the conversation gets asked about penis… and honestly, even some girls.

I’ve always been a little self-conscious about my body overall, nonetheless my package. I try to shy away from the other guys when I had to change clothes in the locker room, never opted to take showers and only my closest friends have seen me swimming (unless I’m drunk, which means all bets are off). But for the references of this blog, I would have to tell you a little more about my physicality — particularly, my package. My schlong is maybe only a bit longer than previously mentioned ‘average length,’ which is fine but nothing to showboat. But something I realized when I observed other people was that, being born and raised in America, my banana was different because it’s uncut.

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In the past, it really depended on who I was talking to to know how much I would divulge my schlong stats. The first boy I talked freely about my feelings to boys, FancyPants, really was interested in penis overall. Back then (at the age of 14), we were both hesitant to declare the love of penis, so we didn’t ask about each other’s penis directly.

However, as we stayed friends and continued to talk to each other as we started seeing other people, we talked about their dicks and dicks of porn actors. We talked about ‘international’ penises, and he commented how uncut penises were weird and kind of ugly. He told me that his penis was tightly cut, without much extra skin and asked how mine was. I lied, and told him similar, maybe with a bit more skin.

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I was pretty innocent when I started off high school. I started to get comfortable with my sexuality, and started working at a well-known homosexual-friendly establishment. Over half the workers were gay men, and one named Jeff seemed interested in me. He looked like skinnier, druggie version of Matthew Lillard. Through AIM, he was chatting me up and wanted to trade dick photos. Naive me thought sure, so we decided to send it at the same time through AIM, meaning that it’ll take a couple of minutes to send to each other. I sent him a genuine photo, and he sent me some amateur photo from off the net. It was my first gay dick ambush.

With Phoenix, Jester and others that I have been physical with, I always told them that my goods are something to see in person. After FancyPants, though, I felt that straight-up lying about being cut and uncut was kind of stupid, especially if I was actually going to be physical with them rather than just talking with them, like with FancyPants. They all eventually saw it in the flesh, so it’d be pretty ridiculous to lie to them.

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It’s funny to come where I come from and have an uncut penis, though, because it’s not the norm. Most of the guys I’ve been with had never been intimate with an uncut dick before, and was curious to be with one or would refer to me as “the only uncut boy they’ve been with.” When I told Splits that my penis was uncut before we hung out, he was so intrigued and it seemed like it made him even more interested in messing around.

Being only slightly above average, I have always been a bit self-conscious about my length. There was once when a country boy named Brendan wanted to webcam with me, jerking off. I’ve known him for a long time and decided sure, why not. I hated it, as I stood there naked trying to show him my hard penis. Back then, I was not as comfortable in front of the camera and didn’t have the equipment as I do now (I didn’t have my MacBook Pro yet!). With the angles, my lack of experience and lighting, it made me think the issue was my penis and I never really got over that.

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In addition, I usually bottomed from the get-go. Phoenix and I took each other’s virginity when it came to penetration, but Phoenix usually topped me. I don’t know why I never really was interested in topping so much, but when I’m not really into things, I don’t really try to do it and I don’t get into it. So once, Phoenix wanted to try to bottom, and I was just like, do whatever you want, I’ll just lay here. So I laid down on my back and let him ride me, and he was absolutely loving it but I was still not into it — I still didn’t understand the thrill of topping.

I tried to figure out why I didn’t like topping Phoenix, when he apparently loved being inside me. I tried to piece it together and didn’t really get it. I somehow came to a conclusion that maybe it’s my dick. Phoenix was able to feel me penetrating him, yet maybe my dick wasn’t long enough to make me feel anything? I was shorter than Phoenix in dick length, that’s for damn sure. Or maybe it was because I was uncut? I never thought I watched porn where there was an uncut dick, I thought (I was so innocent, really). So I kept measuring, kept looking up information about how long dicks are supposed to be, and thinking if I should get circumcised or not throughout my high school years.

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When Shit Gets Real

The article mentioned at the beginning, “What She Said: Is Your Dick Long Enough?“, it tells us the average length of a willy. It then says that there’s a person out there that perfectly matches your equipment, no matter how long or short it is. There’s a perfect lock out there for your perfect key, so don’t worry about your size.

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I found my key and my lock in Perseus. Usually, Perseus plows me relentlessly and I love every bit of it. However, this last time I went over to visit him, I wanted to switch it up sometime and I wanted to top Perseus. He was iffy about it, but he agreed. Perseus had to ease into it, putting my junk inside his trunk, and it happened.

I felt what the big deal was about, being inside a tight hole. I felt why all the other boys loved pillaging me like a freshly baked apple pie. Perseus was my lock for my key, and he made me wanna be inside him forever.

Phoenix often had said I’m the perfect fuck buddy, that I was cute, attractive, and my body was amazing. I always thought it was him just wanting my ass, which honestly, it probably was. Now with Perseus, I realized that nobody else really matters, because I found my perfect match. If I was somehow too small, too uncut, too thick, too anything for my sexual partner, it was because it wasn’t meant to be.

I found my lock and key, and his name is Perseus.

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