How Do You Want It: Turn Ons

My dad has an addictive personality.

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When my brother and I showed my dad how to play roulette down in New Orleans, he wanted to continue playing even after we came back home, using nearly 13k at the ‘local’ casino. When my mom got him an iPhone, he finally joined the 21st century and obsesses over Asian news outlets, often telling the whole family random news facts. And through his iPhone, he discovered the eBay app.

eBay’s (apparently) have been around since 1995, and I’m sure everyone else in my family had used it thoroughly since Internet was available in households. Hell, I remember looking at how much a holographic Charizard was on eBay when I was in 4th grade, and also seeing if my Burger King gold plaques were worth anything yet. But to my father, he hardly knew how to work a Razr when it came out, nonetheless knew about eBay.

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Now, my dad stays on his iPhone more than a popular high school girl (I presume, it’s been 8 years since I’ve been one). Mainly, he looks at eBay, being particularly keen on purchasing vintage lighters and military paraphernalia. He comes to me whenever he needs help with eBay or iPhone things because he knows I won’t really judge him (because I never really do, people’s business are their own).

He showed me his iPhone one time and asked me if I could make it so ‘Recently Viewed’ items don’t show up on the home page of eBay. I knew how, only because I did it to my own because it was annoying; however, dad wanted to hide it for a particular reason. Dad’s been looking at photos and lighters on sale with women as the subject matter. And it’s not like nudes or anything, but Asian-dressed pretty females appropriately covered and all.

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After I helped dad, he seemed thankful and we left it at that. Later, I was able to look through his phone (because I might not judge, but I am a bit of a snoop) and saw that he has some Safari pages saved on some girls similarly dressed. He’s asked me how to screenshot previously, so I’m guessing he’s graduated to that level, but I wouldn’t know because, since then, he’s enabled a pass code on his phone.


Dad might be bashful about his ‘porn’ stash, but to me, it’s really funny. If mom had found it, mom would probably tell dad off about having it, but to anyone else, dad would be merely looking at dressed women online. To my mom and dad, the Vietnam War generation, photos of those caliber were scandalous. I mean, PlayBoy has been around since the 1950s, but I’m guessing not everyone was comfortable of buying such material.

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Thinking of my dad’s choice in scandalous material, I thought about everyone’s ‘porn’ preference. I know back in the day, ‘scandalously dressed women’ were women that showed their ankles. And honestly, in some parts of the world, even showing your hair is a sign of promiscuity. But what really got me on this topic was watching the American Pickers buying peep show machines of ‘scandalous’ cartoon women, which was obviously what guys got off on back then.

I had tried to do some more social research on what turns people on, but apparently, my friends don’t like to talk about the subject of sex via text. The following is one of the texts I sent to a friend.

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And despite how open my friends and my relationships are, I did not get a single reply to this question.

I have read somewhere that women are less likely to watch porn, and that they prefer reading erotica than watching videos. I saw this firsthand when I snooped into my sister’s pillowcase and saw a folded Cosmopolitan magazine page about ‘most adventurous places to have sex.’ Besides this passing not-so-factual information, I have nothing but my own experience to talk about.


Being able to access porn in literally seconds is definitely a game changer. It’s not just being able to access it that’s changed, but being able to bring it anywhere with you without really having it visible to anyone else via your phone, tablet and laptop changed the face of porn for everyone. But ‘porn’ is different for everyone, because turn ons are different for everyone.

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I admit that I use to talk about sex and look at photos of naked guys ever since I had a personal computer. I never purchased anything until I was out in public by myself and walked to the local bookstore to buy PlayGirl or other gay plastic-wrapped magazines. I also purchased gay erotica books and short stories collections, and really got into them.

When I was growing up, I first started with having a PC in my room, with a desk and big-ass monitor. Then I had a jank laptop that I eventually had to duct tape to keep together. Sometimes, my mom would disconnect the internet to make me sleep earlier or just take away my computer and phone, so purchasing erotic novels and being able to just whip it out whenever I want was perfect. Only during my senior year of high school was the iPhone and smartphones really took off, and only one ‘rich kid’ in my class had one. I had my Sony Ericsson, porn not included (unless you count dick pics of my ex).

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Now thinking about what turns me on most, I guess it’s not the most typical sort of things. I really do still enjoy a good erotica. Reading and imagining it in my head makes it a bit more sexy, like reading and imagining Harry Potter is more magical than seeing it on the screen.

In physical terms, I’m not the biggest fan of full-blown cock shots. I might laugh at what turns on dad, but I do really enjoy having a layer of unknown in my photos of guys as well. Guys with bulges, guys with a nice body or even sometimes a guy with nice arms in a muscle-fit shirt turns me on a lot. Even with Perseus, I find him dead sexy in his boxer briefs, where his ass is bubbly and his front is plump.

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In porn videos, I oddly find the kissing and grinding one of the more sensual parts. A good (perhaps, not believable) storyline is always a plus, but the part where they’re kissing and starting to take off the clothes is a pretty sexy part for me. Not to say everything else doesn’t help, but I find the beginning part the best.

With the availability of porn everywhere, it’s easy to say that big titties, a tiny pussy, a bleached pink asshole or a massive cock turns you on. Without safe search off, it’s almost impossible to not find one of them in your image searches, but does it really turn you on the most? Does the squirting of either sex make you feel butterflies in your stomach and really starts you off? It maybe assists or even conclude my ‘personal time,’ but I don’t really think it’s what I really concentrate on.

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I know it’s cliche to say that it’s more than that with me, but it really is. It’s not the cock, the bod, the face or the sex acts they carry on with, but the act of intimacy between two guys. I’m sure that if dad has the choice of looking at straight-up nude women and pussy getting fucked, he would but what he’s use to, and what he finds less vulgar, is the fully clothed Asian women he looks saves on his phone. I could watch dick fucking ass all day, but give me a model with a bulge or 2 attractive guys kissing any day and I’d be happy.

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Honestly, I won’t judge you if the hardcore porn is what you’re into and that’s all you’re for, but I wonder if the hardcore porn is more fitted towards the generation that doesn’t know what it’s like NOT to have technology (or those who don’t remember what they were doing during 9/11). I feel like I’m between the fully-clothed Marilyn Monroe generation and the hardcore porn, nude-the-norm generation where I’m perfectly happy reading a homo-erotic Abercrombie Quarterly magazine.

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The only proper way to conclude this sort of blog is to state “To each, their own.” You watch what you want to watch, or read what you want to read but I was just exploring the fact of generational differences.

But if you haven’t tried reading some erotica, Nifty is my source to Gay Erotica.

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